Yesterday after learning all day long i wanted to get some action and went by car to a near village. I had my rollerblades with me and just wanted to get thrilled and do something for my adrenalin. So i drove by the river, on the left have been the fields, standing in yellow full with corn. Sometimes there has been a tree. On the right side there was the shore of the Oder. and a went on a small hill against high water, where a way with concrete was goin far...
It was about 9pm when i started, at about 9:30 i asked myself why is it so hard to drive today, when i saw that on of my tires has been ruined. When i sat down to think about what to do, i turned back and wondered about the nice colors in the fields.
Then i saw, that there was something big coming from behind... Big clouds, rain and thunder. 3 minutes later the first flash hit the ground near to me. I got panic. was tkaing off the skates and left the small hill to be somewhere lower. i was running to the one direction - flash hitting in front of me, thunder coming. I was counting. 21-22-23 I was turning to the other direction - another flash hitting in front of me. 21-22. I saw there was no sense of fleeing, So i sat down and waited...flashes around me, sometimes with 5 seconds difference. I started talking loud out to god. Telling him, that there are so many undone things in my life, that i am not ready to leave today... i talked to him, just to overcome the fear. I pleased him to stop, but he did let the rain start. I made a very personal commitment - i asked him to let me live on, and i will fight for justice. When the rain was getting more and more i was changing my seat to a place under a near tree. But it wasnt helping to get anything better. I was sitting there and waiting probably an hour, The flashes did not stop - and i have never seen flashes so near in my life before, i was not even able to count between flash and thunder anymore. i was in the center. In one moment of many flashes i saw a roof enlightened by some chainlightnings in the dark sky.
I decided that if the destiny chooses to hit me tonite, it will find me wherever i am, if it only wants to test me - i have to fight. So i started walking - barefeet, with my shirt and skates under my arm through the crop directly towards the roof i was seeing in the distance. I walked about 20 min the rain and the flashes did do a good company, lightning and melodyfying my way on the safe harbor.
when i reached the house, i saw it was a storage for bales of straw. I did get off the rest of my clothes an covered myself in the straw and waited until the rain was finished. after some more minutes i cannot count i took the laces of the skates and made myself look like an indian with the straw, at least i hadnt on the cold and wet clothes anymore. In this style i walked on and on until i came to a smaller house. Standing in front of the door in my robinson crusoe dress i rang the bell and cried for at least ten minutes until a man opened a window - i told him briefly what happened. He gave me some clothes and left me with words of trust: It´s not so easy to die, It´s not as far as you think... so i walked on, when i reached my car, stil barefeet in the clothes of the old man i realized what had happened. The nature gave me a lesson - a lesson of how small we are, a lesson of to stop crying and work for where we wanna get, even if the way is dark are dangerous. It made me trust in it, although i did not know what might happen, because there is nothing worse than sitting on a field while flash and rain are coming down on you and to wait and think "if i wait long enough, something has to happen"
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